"And the winner is..."

Saturday night I went to a banquet for the Pineapple Playhouse, where I did my first show after quitting The Jove. I had been lazy all day and was supposed to meet my friends at their house to carpool at 5pm. Around 4, I started to get ready. Nothing fit. All of my dressy clothes were at least one size too small for me. So, I put on a dress I had purchased for my cousin's wedding that my mom deemed "too plain" for that event. I put on my great-grandmother's earrings, my grandmother's ring, and a diamond necklace from my maternal grandfather, and I was set. The sky was filled with rolling storm clouds as I headed to Jupiter, though the rain stayed away as we made our way to the Knights of Columbus in Port St. Lucie.

We headed inside, surrounded by Virgin Mary statues and photos of the members of the PSL chapter. The room had been decorated in silver and green star balloons with whole pineapples as centerpieces. The median age was 50. The cast of Beauty and the Beast, Really grabbed two tables in the back corner, and I was fortunate enough to sit with the woman who played my mom, her husband, my friends, and the girl who played my stepsister along with her boyfriend. As people arrived, I'd give them big hugs and we'd all catch up. Except for one girl, who barely acknowledged that any of us were there. Janna and I had a rough relationship during the run of the show as I thought her self-indulgent, lazy and entitled. She would prove me right yet again on this night.

The DJ was about 80 years old, and kept making indecipherable announcements regarding a car that was blocking a fire exit, listing in detail how we would all die if there was a fire. This really set the mood for the party. A cash bar, buffet, and dessert table lead us to overindulge while we were being entertained by Steve Zimmerman.

Mr. Zimmerman came out onto the dance floor, a large black man dressed all in black with tan tap shoes on. He explained that his name sometimes confused people, and that he really was "the" Steve Zimmerman. This guy was in Taps with Gregory Hines, and pulled out a tap dancing set that was accentuated by his overly played loud breathing and bulging eyes. His set lasted about a half hour, and the crowd was probably an unexpected change from the usual Knights of Columbus groups he had played in front of during prior gigs. This was a theater crowd, and everyone tried to one up his jokes as he told them. It was funny and weird and set the mood for the rest of the evening.

The Board Members of the theater were all brought up on stage and thanked for their services. New board members were inaugurated. The President accepted an appreciation award that had her name misspelled on it. Weird level orange.

The acting awards finally came around. As each category was announced, the cast would hold hands, trying to give off a positive vibe for the person nominated. They got to the Best Female Newcomer category, and it was between myself, Cherlise who played Beauty, and Janna, the "show stealer" and myself. As they announced the three nominees, I started chanting in my head, "Cherlise or me, Cherlise or me." It's no secret that I am not a fan of the other girl. So, when they announced, "Lorraine Pottinger, Lulu in Beauty and the Beast, Really" (obviously not my name or the name of the character, Lula, but who cares)I was shocked and delighted. As I grabbed the award and posed for a picture, I thought they would let me make a speech. They didn't.

Janna did win an award for "Best Female Minor Role" and they let her talk. With her stage time of about 5 minutes, a lack of ability to sing and dance at the same time, and her diva nature, it wasn't surprising when her speech comprised of saying, "It wasn't a big part, but we all know that I stole the show." I had imbibed a single beer during the dinner portion of the evening, and I couldn't help myself when I started chuckling loudly at the complete nerve of this woman, who had to leave a rehearsal early so she could go and see opening night of that crappy Christina Aguilera/Cher movie. From this point on I was hot...and not just because of the combo beer and satin dress lining. I leaned over to Leslie, my mom, and said, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

When the next category came up where Cherlise and I were both nominated for Best Female Lead, we all grabbed hands again (sans Janna). It was a three way tie between myself and the two female leads of the show, Arsenic and Old Lace. "And Laura Pottinger, Lula in Beauty and the Beast, Really,"(again, not my name but the character's name was right.) Neither of the ladies from AOL were actually there that night, so I thought I'd get to speak. No again. Maybe there was something in my face that made them not want to give me the microphone. Maybe they realized that the awards ceremony was lasting 3 hours. Whatever it was, I was unable to declare my appreciation for the whole cast and crew who worked their butts off to make the show what it was...begrudgingly, Janna included.

After the awards were over, I got another beer and the censors disappeared. Cherlise and I were shaking it on the dance floor. Janna went to leave and I dismissed her with a waggle of the hand. We closed the place down after she left, and it was a relief to have her sour puss out of my peripheral. We then headed to Friendly's with my TWO awards (remember, I beat Janna in one category). Ice cream, good conversation and some french fries later I was beat and ready for bed. I headed home to my empty house, hugged Bailey and let him outside, put on my pj's and as I slipped into slumber, I muttered, "Stole the show, my ass."

So, here's the speech I would have given.

Many thanks to Mark Brinkerhoff, who not only played and recorded all the music, directed us, built the set, had twin baby boys, and dealt with Janna. To the entire cast and crew who helped me believe in myself more than I ever have in an unfamiliar territory of musical theater. To Cherlise specifically, for being beautiful inside and out and for hitting the high notes so I didn't have to. To Justin for forgiving me for the attitude every day. To Lara and Megan for listening to me vent on the long drive from Jupiter to Ft. Pierce. And to the warm and welcoming community of the Pineapple, where even asshats like Janna can be onstage. Thank you."

I may still be a little peeved. :)

BURN NOTICE!!

I found a website online that was a casting agency for the TV show Burn Notice. Burn Notice has a couple of things going for it that I love, the biggest one being Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame. I've been a fan of his since I saw the first Evil Dead film when I was 14.


Handsome.

So, I uploaded my headshot, put in my info, and waited. 2 days later I received an e-mail from the casting department, asking me if I was available on a Wednesday. I said yes, though I do have a day job and was not sure if I could get the day off. I tried to come up with an excuse...dr's appt, sickness, family emergency...finally deciding on the good old fashioned truth. My boss told me to go for it, and asked if he could come with. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen, but I felt a lot better knowing that I was upfront and honest instead of being a lying liar face.

I get an e-mail telling me to bring office casual clothing. I rushed to NY&CO to purchase appropriate clothing, as my entire work wardrobe is comprised of white, grays and black, all of which were no-nos. I couldn't sleep, and woke at 5:15 with an energy that has never been seen in me at that early hour. I hopped in the Mini and jetted down to Key Biscayne, where the shoot was to be held. I arrived early, and sat around watching the other extras come into the craft services area. They were from all walks of life. Old, young, attractive, not...a plethora of personalities.

The queen-tastic wardrobe guy tisked at my selections, lambasting me for bringing clothing that the casting agency specifically told us to bring. The other extras piped up, letting him know in no uncertain terms that we were a team here, and that it was all for one. After changing into casual gear for an outdoor scene we would be shooting, we were told to grab our stuff and get on the bus, as we were heading to the set. Little did I know, my life was about to change, forever.

All right, it didn't change forever. I had a fantastic time shooting on Burn Notice, ending up walking as a background actor right next to Jeffrey Donavan and Bruce Campbell. I tittered a little as I was handed a coffee cup to carry along with an expired parking ticket as props. One of my pet peeves is when actors in films carry coffee cups as if they are batons. I concentrated all my efforts on being the best coffee cup carrier in Tinseltown. I created a backstory for my character, walking with cops and discussing how they could help me pay off the ticket. One guy I walked with became my fictional boyfriend, and I had received the ticket while parking at his house, so he should be the one paying for it. Fun, fun times. A couple novice background actors were almost run over by Michael's black Dodge Charger. It was hilarious.

In an office scene with Sharon Gless and Gabrielle Anwar, I was told to sit in a chair behind the two ladies and pretend to be filling out an employment application. I filled it out, all right. The applicant was IP Freely. She used to be a hooker, but had to quit due to health reasons. Her references were Madonna, Beelzebub, and her mom. All very fun, at least for me. After a couple of seconds, I was to stand up and go and use the restroom, walking behind the two lead actresses. I kindly asked the lady next to me (in mime, of course) to watch my stuff while I went. It was awesome. The director, Jonathan Frakes of Star Trek fame, used my leg as a frame for a wide shot. Neat.

At the end of the day, I was smelly, sunburnt, and exhausted. I was $100 richer, and I had been within 3 feet of my most favorite actor of all time. I watched his process, and even locked eyes with him momentarily as I awaited the call of "background." It was a day that will forever be burnt into my memory.

Guilty feelings.

A friend of mine sent me a message for an audition for a show about an hour away last night. I agreed, thinking that as a performer I should never turn down an opportunity to showcase my talents and to make new connections. I was excited about the prospect...it was a musical comedy, two things I love separately, combined. Great. So, I sit at my desk for the 8 hour day at the country club and contemplate the exact way the evening should go. The audition is at 7, I get out of work at 5, the dog is out of food, I have to get some for his dinner, I have to shower, change, figure out what I'm going to sing, find my character shoes, get in my car, drive 45 miles, get that amount on my already over driven leased Mini Cooper, audition, then come home and figure out what I will do if I get the part.

So, I bailed. I put on my pajamas, ate some re-heated chicken marsala (from my cooking experiment two nights before) and watched a movie with my sister. And I felt guilty. The whole time. I was laughing, goofing around, and watching Glee, but inside I had some major guilt for not going. I started feeling sick at around 7pm, knowing somehow that I had made the wrong decision and that this show could have been the thing to rebuild my faith in myself as a performer.

My sister, who, at 27, is one of the least bothered people on the planet, knows me well. She looked over at me, curled in the recliner, the quilt she had made me surrounding me like a shroud, and said, "Get over it."

That's it. "Get over it." Such a short phrase for a philosophy that I have never, ever grasped. I hold onto things as if they were changeable. "If only I had just..." "If this had happened differently, I'd..." At that moment I realized that the best decision I was going to make that night was to actually listen to my bratty sister, and "Get over it." Maybe, if we all "got over it" this world would be a better place.

But maybe I'll just see if they cast anyone. :)

A rebirth...

Recently, I decided to change my life. I was unhappy. Really, really unhappy. So, I cut ties to all the things that were making me unhappy and decided to start over. I've done this a couple of times in the past...an abusive relationship helped me move to KY and start working for a theater up there. A medical malady made me leave that theater and move home to sunny South Florida (and after 3 winters I was about ready!!) Now, I have quit my job with an improv troupe that I had been working for for 3 years to try and make my own way in life. It's terrifying. I felt safe there for these last few years, but I realized I was never going to get the fulfillment out of it that I desired.

So, here I am. 29 years old, living with my parents again after rent on my beautiful apartment was raised and my salary was not. I am single but dating. I have baggage like anyone else, so my guarded area is both my heart and my naughty bits. I have no artistic outlet at the moment other than singing occasionally at cabarets and the weddings of friends (and of course, in the shower.) I write things down that I think might entertain people, but have yet to attempt an open mic night. I am working on a comic book with a friend, but that is at a standstill while she makes a life in LA and I work 40 hours in Florida. I am at a standstill. But I am living a very full life and have a lot of ideas and opinions. So, here's my blog. If no one reads it, fine...but it'll be a place I can vent and hopefully, entertain.