I had a bad appointment with my OBGYN.
I've been feeling super shitty. Napping all the time and still feeling exhausted. Pain in my ovaries and in my breasts. Up to 208 pounds even while eating only veggies and fruit.
Appointment with my OBGYN for my yearly resulted in scheduled blood work, ultrasound of my baby-making parts and a mammogram.
A MAMMOGRAM? I am 37 years old.
I scheduled my appointments and panic. The paperwork says that it is a diagnostic mammogram. As in, my doctor felt something weird or I'm having symptoms that lead her to believe that there is something wrong with my boobs. The office that I usually go to had an appt on August 16th. I called another office and had it moved to July 31st. I don't think I can wait that long to have my boobs squished like Christopher Lloyd's character in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
I'm sorry I made jokes about wanting to not have boobs when I was younger and trying to be active with D cups.
I'm sorry I nicknamed them Big Mac and Whopper Jr. (Whopper Jr is significantly smaller.)
I have a lot of lovely supportive people in my life who tell me not to worry and give me examples of how this happened to them and how they are ok. That is lovely and I love them.
I do, however, wish there was someone who wouldn't try to convince me to not worry. Who would just listen and say, "I know you're scared. It's a scary thing. Your feelings are completely justified."
Then buy me an ice cream cone. A lowfat ice cream cone. And give me a hug. A light one so as to not hurt the knockers.
I looked online for a forum or something where I could express my fears and trepidation but ended up in the downward spiral of the googler. Other terrified people being terrified of calls from their doctors after their mammogram. People further on in the process who are getting biopsies and markers and other things that scare me. So, I came back to this blog.
I can wait two weeks. I can wait two weeks. I can wait two weeks.
