I've often wondered why I am the way I am. There are times when really fantastic things happen, and I systematically tear them and myself into little tiny pieces, over-analyzing every bit to see what I could have done better. I have started to do this most recently with my web comic. Though it is out of my control in terms of how many people read it, I keep thinking that I can affect it somehow, by being more witty, charming, out there. I even added it for a brief moment on my online dating profile, to see if I could up readership that way. I realized the folly of this choice and quickly removed it from the site, but the insanity that inspired me to do it in the first place is still going strong.
I was discussing this with my mother last night, as she is pretty down to earth and wise to the world. She is usually quick to point out my bullshit. During the course of our discussion, I discovered that I have ALWAYS been this way. I was potty trained at 18 months because I didn't like being dirty. I learned to read at age 4, because I felt if my parents could read to me then I could certainly do it myself. When I was 6, I had imaginary people in my life. They weren't friends, they were parents. Mother Snow and Father Magic lived in the North Pole and were going to come and get me someday. Six year old me wanted to control who was making the rules for me. I'm very glad these two weirdos never actually manifested in my life and love both of my parents as they are both strong yet different parts of who I am today.
After my mom and I were done chatting, I continued to think about who I am and why I feel as if I am constantly silent on subjects that I should be more vocal about. Looking to my family, I decided to elect a new mantra for myself that is based upon both my maternal and paternal grandmothers. Both of my grandmothers are named Nancy. One is living in Ohio, the other passed away while I was in college. Nancy Blake is a sweet woman who makes homemade ice cream for the 4th of July and likes warm, ankle length cotton robes. Nancy Pottinger was a spitfire, who taught me sarcasm and chain smoked until she passed away from emphysema. I've always been a little more like Grandma Blake, and will continue to be so in terms of how I deal with the people I love. In terms of my creative outlets and perspective on life I am going to become more like Grandma P. I will no longer take shit from anyone. I will recognize shady characters and bypass them before they can take advantage of me. I will call out indecencies and injustices and I will burn peoples faces off with my sarcastic wit.
What would Nancy do? That is the question.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
BURN NOTICE!!
I found a website online that was a casting agency for the TV show Burn Notice. Burn Notice has a couple of things going for it that I love, the biggest one being Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame. I've been a fan of his since I saw the first Evil Dead film when I was 14.
Handsome.
So, I uploaded my headshot, put in my info, and waited. 2 days later I received an e-mail from the casting department, asking me if I was available on a Wednesday. I said yes, though I do have a day job and was not sure if I could get the day off. I tried to come up with an excuse...dr's appt, sickness, family emergency...finally deciding on the good old fashioned truth. My boss told me to go for it, and asked if he could come with. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen, but I felt a lot better knowing that I was upfront and honest instead of being a lying liar face.
I get an e-mail telling me to bring office casual clothing. I rushed to NY&CO to purchase appropriate clothing, as my entire work wardrobe is comprised of white, grays and black, all of which were no-nos. I couldn't sleep, and woke at 5:15 with an energy that has never been seen in me at that early hour. I hopped in the Mini and jetted down to Key Biscayne, where the shoot was to be held. I arrived early, and sat around watching the other extras come into the craft services area. They were from all walks of life. Old, young, attractive, not...a plethora of personalities.
The queen-tastic wardrobe guy tisked at my selections, lambasting me for bringing clothing that the casting agency specifically told us to bring. The other extras piped up, letting him know in no uncertain terms that we were a team here, and that it was all for one. After changing into casual gear for an outdoor scene we would be shooting, we were told to grab our stuff and get on the bus, as we were heading to the set. Little did I know, my life was about to change, forever.
All right, it didn't change forever. I had a fantastic time shooting on Burn Notice, ending up walking as a background actor right next to Jeffrey Donavan and Bruce Campbell. I tittered a little as I was handed a coffee cup to carry along with an expired parking ticket as props. One of my pet peeves is when actors in films carry coffee cups as if they are batons. I concentrated all my efforts on being the best coffee cup carrier in Tinseltown. I created a backstory for my character, walking with cops and discussing how they could help me pay off the ticket. One guy I walked with became my fictional boyfriend, and I had received the ticket while parking at his house, so he should be the one paying for it. Fun, fun times. A couple novice background actors were almost run over by Michael's black Dodge Charger. It was hilarious.
In an office scene with Sharon Gless and Gabrielle Anwar, I was told to sit in a chair behind the two ladies and pretend to be filling out an employment application. I filled it out, all right. The applicant was IP Freely. She used to be a hooker, but had to quit due to health reasons. Her references were Madonna, Beelzebub, and her mom. All very fun, at least for me. After a couple of seconds, I was to stand up and go and use the restroom, walking behind the two lead actresses. I kindly asked the lady next to me (in mime, of course) to watch my stuff while I went. It was awesome. The director, Jonathan Frakes of Star Trek fame, used my leg as a frame for a wide shot. Neat.
At the end of the day, I was smelly, sunburnt, and exhausted. I was $100 richer, and I had been within 3 feet of my most favorite actor of all time. I watched his process, and even locked eyes with him momentarily as I awaited the call of "background." It was a day that will forever be burnt into my memory.
Handsome.
So, I uploaded my headshot, put in my info, and waited. 2 days later I received an e-mail from the casting department, asking me if I was available on a Wednesday. I said yes, though I do have a day job and was not sure if I could get the day off. I tried to come up with an excuse...dr's appt, sickness, family emergency...finally deciding on the good old fashioned truth. My boss told me to go for it, and asked if he could come with. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen, but I felt a lot better knowing that I was upfront and honest instead of being a lying liar face.
I get an e-mail telling me to bring office casual clothing. I rushed to NY&CO to purchase appropriate clothing, as my entire work wardrobe is comprised of white, grays and black, all of which were no-nos. I couldn't sleep, and woke at 5:15 with an energy that has never been seen in me at that early hour. I hopped in the Mini and jetted down to Key Biscayne, where the shoot was to be held. I arrived early, and sat around watching the other extras come into the craft services area. They were from all walks of life. Old, young, attractive, not...a plethora of personalities.
The queen-tastic wardrobe guy tisked at my selections, lambasting me for bringing clothing that the casting agency specifically told us to bring. The other extras piped up, letting him know in no uncertain terms that we were a team here, and that it was all for one. After changing into casual gear for an outdoor scene we would be shooting, we were told to grab our stuff and get on the bus, as we were heading to the set. Little did I know, my life was about to change, forever.
All right, it didn't change forever. I had a fantastic time shooting on Burn Notice, ending up walking as a background actor right next to Jeffrey Donavan and Bruce Campbell. I tittered a little as I was handed a coffee cup to carry along with an expired parking ticket as props. One of my pet peeves is when actors in films carry coffee cups as if they are batons. I concentrated all my efforts on being the best coffee cup carrier in Tinseltown. I created a backstory for my character, walking with cops and discussing how they could help me pay off the ticket. One guy I walked with became my fictional boyfriend, and I had received the ticket while parking at his house, so he should be the one paying for it. Fun, fun times. A couple novice background actors were almost run over by Michael's black Dodge Charger. It was hilarious.
In an office scene with Sharon Gless and Gabrielle Anwar, I was told to sit in a chair behind the two ladies and pretend to be filling out an employment application. I filled it out, all right. The applicant was IP Freely. She used to be a hooker, but had to quit due to health reasons. Her references were Madonna, Beelzebub, and her mom. All very fun, at least for me. After a couple of seconds, I was to stand up and go and use the restroom, walking behind the two lead actresses. I kindly asked the lady next to me (in mime, of course) to watch my stuff while I went. It was awesome. The director, Jonathan Frakes of Star Trek fame, used my leg as a frame for a wide shot. Neat.
At the end of the day, I was smelly, sunburnt, and exhausted. I was $100 richer, and I had been within 3 feet of my most favorite actor of all time. I watched his process, and even locked eyes with him momentarily as I awaited the call of "background." It was a day that will forever be burnt into my memory.
Life is ridiculously funny.
It's been a strange couple of months. I've been on some dates and gotten booked to speak at a comic book convention, and gotten into some hijinks and shenanigans. This blog will be a free for all to really detail some of the things that are going on in the Guarded Area.
The dating front. It is hard out there, people! The moment you feel a connection with someone, a shinier minnow comes their way and they are gone. It's good that people are so ADD because if genuine affection was actually created, there would be tons more heartache than there currently has been/is in my life. I have a date lined up this weekend. I planned it. We're going putt putt golfing. I couldn't stand the idea of sitting down in a coffee shop and making awkward conversation. We'll see how it goes. The guy enjoys the fact that I use Simpson-isms when I speak. Plus one.
On the negative side of dating, there are the absolutely ridiculous things that people say and do when they are on an online dating site. I have actually been guilt tripped by people for not writing them back immediately. The expectation is that if you are on an online dating service that is all your life is about. Finding the one. Sorry, I have a job, friends, family and a creative life that keeps me distracted. These guys also don't know how to market themselves to women of quality. I got a message from a man today who's screen name is Lovesblackpuss. Sorry, sir. You will not be hearing back from me. I'm not even sure why you messaged me, to be honest.
If this weekends date goes poorly, I will probably be removing myself from all sites. The pressure and judgments on who you are in 500 words or less and based on the images you carefully pick to represent the real you is a little overwhelming. If only I had stayed with my high school boyfriend and popped out a couple of kids at the get-go, I might have missed out on this stress-fest. Regardless, the time has come to focus more on my career.
I recently interviewed for a part time teaching position at a Christian school, teaching drama to 7th and 8th graders 4 hours a week. If I get it, my boss at Ironhorse has said that I could change my schedule to do both things. I am incredibly blessed to be able to do what I love and also have a career that pays the bills. Stating that...
Bailee and I are doing the web comic thing, and it is going incredibly well. We're still looking into how to market it better, but we've been invited to speak at a comic book convention Comikaze Expo in LA in November by a lady who thinks our comic rocks. Comediva is stupendously supportive, and we may be writing a whole series of articles about our upcoming trip to Comic-Con in July, which we will be attending as nerds.
The only downfall is that while I am extremely excited about this and the potential it has to be great, there are still and always will be people in my life who are more logical, who believe that the trip is a boondoggle (a Kirk Pottinger term.) It's really hard when you are excited about something and the people who are closest to you nay-say. I've always been a pretty sensitive soul, and it completely sucks to be so excited about something only to have the negative creep in to taint it. It's a constant source of stress and though I'll deal, it's just how I'm feeling today. My family is constantly supportive of my creative endeavors, and for that I am grateful...I just need to be making more money at it for it to mean anything solid. It'll happen. I'm putting that out there. Thoughts become things.
Stay tuned for a separate blog about my recent visit to the set of Burn Notice!!
The dating front. It is hard out there, people! The moment you feel a connection with someone, a shinier minnow comes their way and they are gone. It's good that people are so ADD because if genuine affection was actually created, there would be tons more heartache than there currently has been/is in my life. I have a date lined up this weekend. I planned it. We're going putt putt golfing. I couldn't stand the idea of sitting down in a coffee shop and making awkward conversation. We'll see how it goes. The guy enjoys the fact that I use Simpson-isms when I speak. Plus one.
On the negative side of dating, there are the absolutely ridiculous things that people say and do when they are on an online dating site. I have actually been guilt tripped by people for not writing them back immediately. The expectation is that if you are on an online dating service that is all your life is about. Finding the one. Sorry, I have a job, friends, family and a creative life that keeps me distracted. These guys also don't know how to market themselves to women of quality. I got a message from a man today who's screen name is Lovesblackpuss. Sorry, sir. You will not be hearing back from me. I'm not even sure why you messaged me, to be honest.
If this weekends date goes poorly, I will probably be removing myself from all sites. The pressure and judgments on who you are in 500 words or less and based on the images you carefully pick to represent the real you is a little overwhelming. If only I had stayed with my high school boyfriend and popped out a couple of kids at the get-go, I might have missed out on this stress-fest. Regardless, the time has come to focus more on my career.
I recently interviewed for a part time teaching position at a Christian school, teaching drama to 7th and 8th graders 4 hours a week. If I get it, my boss at Ironhorse has said that I could change my schedule to do both things. I am incredibly blessed to be able to do what I love and also have a career that pays the bills. Stating that...
Bailee and I are doing the web comic thing, and it is going incredibly well. We're still looking into how to market it better, but we've been invited to speak at a comic book convention Comikaze Expo in LA in November by a lady who thinks our comic rocks. Comediva is stupendously supportive, and we may be writing a whole series of articles about our upcoming trip to Comic-Con in July, which we will be attending as nerds.
The only downfall is that while I am extremely excited about this and the potential it has to be great, there are still and always will be people in my life who are more logical, who believe that the trip is a boondoggle (a Kirk Pottinger term.) It's really hard when you are excited about something and the people who are closest to you nay-say. I've always been a pretty sensitive soul, and it completely sucks to be so excited about something only to have the negative creep in to taint it. It's a constant source of stress and though I'll deal, it's just how I'm feeling today. My family is constantly supportive of my creative endeavors, and for that I am grateful...I just need to be making more money at it for it to mean anything solid. It'll happen. I'm putting that out there. Thoughts become things.
Stay tuned for a separate blog about my recent visit to the set of Burn Notice!!
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