So...about that Valentine's thing I said earlier...

I trudged home today with a heavy heart and loads on my mind. It has not been the most spectacular year for me, but I took a really crappy personal situation and have begun to make opportunities for myself to enjoy life and to create in my own way, on my own terms. I vented in a previous blog about how much Valentine's Day blows chunks, and I was feeling every word and punctuation as I opened the door of my house and walked inside.

My mom immediately beset me, telling me I should go upstairs and change...that I looked beat and that I should get out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable. The more and more she insisted, the more and more suspicious I became. Had she purchased me something and placed it in my room to cheer me up due to my lack of Valentine? If so, it was probably going to hurt more than not getting anything at all.

I walked upstairs, and sitting on my bed amidst the mess that is my room was a box of Godiva chocolates, with a card. I yelled down to my mom that she shouldn't have. She was standing behind me and said, "I didn't." I look at her inquisitively, and open the card. On the outside is a hole punch. On the inside is a message that says,
My friend, Nathan, had arranged with my mom to sneak into my house while I was at work to place the candies. He said he wanted to renew my faith in the holiday. He then arrived at my house in a suit and tie, and took me to dinner at IHOP, our favorite hangout. From IHOP, we went to Denny's, where we ate even more food. Then Emily called and said she had something for me, could I swing by? So, Nate and I did.

Here's what she had for me.A wonderful, sweet, hand drawn card. Love everything about it and my new "bestie."

And of course, no year would be complete without a card from my friend from college, Sam. He knows me well, so picked a Maxine card that said, "How do you know if the chocolate and card that you received on Valentine's Day were last minute purchases?"Many thanks to my friends who made me realize that it's not all about romantic love. I love you guys.

Valentine's, Shmalentines.

You've gotta kiss a lot of these...

I hate Valentine's Day. And before you accuse me of being a bitter woman on the path to old maid/cat lady-dom, please allow me to explain.

I have never had a decent Valentine's Day. Ever. I am 29 years old, and the last time I received a Valentine's card from a gentleman I was interested in, I was 8. And they kinda had to give them to everyone in the class. I have always been a care-taking kind of gal, so I typically end up going overboard and having little to no reciprocation. Last year, I ordered expensive, hard to find coffee for my significant other. He gave me nothing, said nothing, and I basically ended my Valentine's Day crying. The times I can remember before that, I did my best to bend over backwards to be the hip girlfriend, going so far as to rent 3 martial arts films and pick up KFC because my boyfriend at the time really liked those two things. It's a holiday about expectations, and mine have never been fulfilled. And I've finally realized that it is my fault entirely.

From now on, I will have no expectations. From anyone, for anything. If an individual surprises me, then good. But I will not spend another year feeling badly about myself for a holiday that promotes over consumption of chocolate, Hallmark greeting cards with stupid poems, and flowers that will wilt in a day or two.

As a result of this new attitude, I have given up power in terms of my love life. I have obviously made poor choices up to this point, and don't know that I can handle any more. So, yesterday, I looked at my mom, who loves me unconditionally and is always looking out for my best interests, and I told her to take over my love life. Today she signed me up for Plentyoffish.com, and she is currently looking through the profiles of single men in order to find me that perfect match. She will be setting up dates, picking out outfits, and basically doing everything but going on the date itself (my dad might have a problem with that!)

As they say, mother knows best. We'll see if that idiom is true. And maybe next Valentine's Day, I'll be singing a different tune.

(PS. Thanks to Sam Waters for sending me a Valentine every year. You are a great friend!)