Is it me?

My doctor has made me believe that I am crazy.

And not because she put me on anti-depressants.

I went in a couple of months ago as I was having consistent leg pain.  Today was a follow up to the brain pill appointment, and I told her yet again that the leg pain was hindering my fitness and well being goals.  I had downloaded a yoga app and attempted a tree pose with disastrous results.  The muscle behind my knee and my thigh felt like a razor blade was running through them.  The veins on the leg in the pained area were dark, dark blue, and I had to stop so I wouldn't barf on Kevin's still damp barf spot.

This is what my doctor looks like. Just with dark hair and bigger eyeballs.

I told her all of this. Even poked the leg where it hurt and was tender to the touch.

Vitamin D deficiency, she says.

WTF?

I worry that she thinks I'm a hypochondriac.  That every time I leave the office with a new script and a scheduled blood test that she's snickering with the nurse, lamenting the waste of time that is my appointment. I lost 6 pounds in a month.  The nurse said, "Have you been trying to lose weight?"  I responded, "No." CAUSE I EAT A LOT OF PASTA, PEOPLE. It's poor people food.  I put butter on it. And feta cheese. EVERY OTHER NIGHT.

This is not a weight loss plan. (I have been drinking a ton of water and eating a lot of ice, so may finally be hydrated. Moot point.)  I've been eating ice like it's my job. Craving it.  Dreaming about it.  Thinking I could just run into work and grab a cup of the soft, pellet ice from the ice machine near the golf shop. At midnight. As I'm driving past work on the way home from rehearsal.  I tell her that.

"Pregnant women do that."

I'M NOT FREAKING PREGNANT.

"It may be an iron deficiency, though your blood test in June doesn't indicate you are iron deficient.  You need pre-natal vitamins."

WTF?

This is my 2nd doctor in 2 years, and I'm afraid to change again and learn that I am in fact insane. What's a girl with good insurance to do? I want my $15 co-pay to go towards making me feel better, not making me feel like I belong in Arkham. Le sigh.

I'm gonna go eat some pasta and lose another 3 pounds.  Wish me luck.

Why can't I just improvise for a living?

WORK IS STUPID.

I'm typing this from work.

I'm itchy again.  It happens a lot. Work gets a little hairy, and I want to be anywhere but here. It's been 7 years (minus one week) that I've been working at this one place.  That is crazy to me. 2 years is my limit. On jobs and relationships.  Apparently, this job is the first thing I've ever really committed to and I resent it for that very reason.  It's gotten to the point though, where this job chose another woman over me and I think it's time to move on.

How dare this job choose another woman over me? JILTED FACE.

There are so many options.  Move further south to be closer to improv shenanigans. Find a cheaper place/get a different job/move to Colorado/a small town/somewhere with mountains/near my grandma/anything. My mom keeps sending me houses for rent in Columbus and jobs in Gahanna, her hometown. It's tempting to move somewhere I love, where people I love live.

The problem is I've fallen in love with a troupe in South Florida called the Sick Puppies. Head over heels in love. I feel important.  I feel special.  I feel like I have a voice without needing to scream at the top of my lungs to be heard. There are so many opportunities, and no one is telling me that I can't/I'm not good enough/to stop wanting more. This is new for me. New and exhilarating.   It's fulfilling a part of me that I had sworn off on after the last 7 years of improv frustration and anxiety.  SO HOW CAN I THINK OF LEAVING WHEN I FINALLY FOUND LOVE?

Decision deadline is November 2014 when my lease at the stupid, rude flood apartment is up. Any thoughts, dear readers? What should I do?  Who should I be?  Where should I go?

UNGH.

I kissed Scott Adsit. Twice.

Then my house exploded.

It's been a weird couple of weeks.

I had a productive morning on Sunday, July 6th. I had breakfast with my friend, Tiffany. I went to a house I'm sitting and set it up for the homeowners who would be arriving the next day.  I went to work and tried to fix the phones that had been out since Friday.  I was gone from 9am-12:15pm.  The whole time, gallons of water were pouring into my home per minute.

I lost my mind when I walked into the apartment to find water everywhere. Lost it. Sobbing hysterically lost it. Too many things to do.  I had to save Kevin (who looked pretty content sleeping in the bathroom where the water was spewing out of a burst toilet valve).  I grabbed his leash and beckoned to him to go outside, while he happily splashed through puddles in the living room to get to the treat I had left out for him that morning.  I called my parents once I knew Kev was ok. I had broken my phone the week before being a bonehead, so have to speak on speakerphone at all times now. "Look for a shut off valve," Mom said, calm and collected.  "I CAN'T FIND ONE!" I screamed, the opposite of calm and collected. I scrambled under the kitchen sink and under the bathroom sink. No go. We hung up shortly after, as cell phones and gushing water rarely partner well.

I have no idea when the leak started. I know when it ended. 15 minutes after I discovered it, as the maintenance emergency phone number went directly to voicemail. Twice. The office phone number went to voicemail.  Twice. I grabbed Kev, got his soggy ass in the car, and ran into the main office with him in tow. One of the leasing agents was there. I was out of breath, my jeans soaked to my thighs, almost screaming that there was water gushing into my apartment and that I needed maintenance.  "I don't know where he is." A gentleman came in behind me in beach gear, calmly telling the lady that water was coming in his apartment. He had been talking to the maintenance guy outside. Rushed back to the apartment to see the guy looking at the water flowing out of my front door. HE calmly (SLOWLY) walked over to the shut off valve located OUTSIDE AND 15 FEET AWAY FROM THE APARTMENT.  My next door neighbor came home, and I not so calmly told her what happened. "My apartment is fine, " she said. She also complained about the water being off to the maintenance guy. Bitch.

I put Kevin in my car with the windows down.  I stood outside, crying. The gentleman who also reported the leak brought me a bottle of water and asked if I needed anything. I said I was fine. He and his mother offered to pick me up some lunch.  I thanked them but said no. I called my sister. "I know it's your day off, but my apartment flooded and can you come and take Kevin to the parents house? Please?" She came. She took Kevin. She came back. My best friend, Jen, showed up. Then Nick, Brooke's boyfriend. They got me moving. Mopped up the kitchen and put everything from the dining room in there to stay dry. Emptied my cheapo bookshelves that were absorbing water by the second. Books were everywhere. In bins.  On tables. The plumber showed up. Fixed the valve and added a shut off valve to the water heater.  Convenient. Left debris from the wall all over the floor. Maintenance shop vac'd the bathroom. Everything was wet.  They threw my bath mats into the bathtub where they stayed until Wednesday when I finally felt comfortable being in the apartment. The carpet company came (3 hours later) with a cleaner the size of a road atlas. Brooke, Jen and I put cut up trash bags under all the furniture to save it. Maintenance manager showed up and started yelling at the carpet guy. Carpet guy called his boss. Handed the phone to maintenance manager. MM started yelling into the phone. At this point, we had done everything we could. I packed some (inappropriate) clothes and walked outside.

My downstairs neighbor arrived at this point.  I heard crying and yelling. We offered to help. She was beside herself.  Brooke offered to go check on Kevin, as it was about to rain and we had packed some important items into her car. She picked up food on her way. I stopped into the office and was told by the leasing agents that no one of authority was in and that I'd have to come back on Monday.  Also, that my renters insurance covered the apartment, not the contents. IDIOTS.  I soggily made my way to the parents house.    I smelled bad. I was soaking wet. I scarfed Wendy's and Brooke and I had a couple of beers.

It was a bad day. That bad day lead to a bad week. The insurance adjuster came in on Tuesday. Put every piece of furniture on the claim. Clothes. Tables. Couches. Dresser. Everything. The bookshelves were completely ruined. I spent the next few days arguing with the office about the living conditions at the house.  I was told a couple of times that I was wrong when I mentioned that the carpet was still wet.  I took my mom's friends with me, thinking they would respect them. NOPE. The manager was not only rude, but dismissive of concerns and just kept saying, "We don't do that. No. We don't do that."  She also said that it was a "freak accident." No. NO, IT WASN'T.

No makeup, Eyeballs after discovering mold in my laundry basket.

I met with her again to discuss compensation for the time out of the apartment and electric for the 4 fans and the dehumidifier that had been running for 5 days straight as well as the A/C that had been running (after being broken for 3 days.)  No compensation except for days out of the apartment.  Also, I had just reported the A/C was broken on Tuesday. Not true. I told them on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday and was told that it was just running hard due to humidity in the apartment. BULLSHIT. Just...bullshit.

There's still a hole in the wall of my bathroom. The carpets are tacky, weird feeling under my feet. Kevin is missing a bed. There are no bathmats, as I had to toss them. My dad came home and helped me move out all the damaged furniture so I can actually get into my bathroom now. My plain, bare bathroom.

My lease is up in November.  I'm crossing my fingers that there are no further issues dealing with these idiots. Still waiting for insurance to let me know what's going on. We shall see.

AT LEAST HALLMARK IS SHOWING CHRISTMAS MOVIES IN JULY!!