That time I hit a lady with my car.

The family got together last night and we were drunk, slap happy, and crazy as always.  My brother and sister in law are moving, and the discussion turned to re-registering cars in their new home state of North Carolina.  Brooke mentioned that it is not a No-Fault state so they needed to be careful.  She then referred to the time a biker came out of nowhere on the street and Brooke hit her with her car. This reminded me of the time a lady walked into my car.

She did. I swear.

It's a funny story. Probably not to the lady, but SHE WAS FINE, GUYS.

I had left rehearsal at the Atlantic Theater and was driving home in the rain.  I called my mom and asked if she wanted me to pick up dinner.  She wanted Jon Smith subs.  I turned into the Publix shopping center on PGA and Military, and stopped at the stop sign. As I went to turn left, a lady stepped out from the median and walked into the side of my car. She fell down and started dramatically screaming about her back.

The comedy in this is that I was on my way home from puppet rehearsal, with a puppet sitting in the passenger seat. I had buckled her in so she wouldn't get tossed about, as the puppet had been built and designed for a character I do that is basically Bart Simpson with a head cold.  It was my first puppet, and I loved her.

WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?!?!?

Anyway, it was raining.  I called 911. The lady stayed on the ground, piteously screaming, "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?"  as I held an umbrella over her head, getting soaked myself.  I apologized and told her to just stay still.  The cops came.  I started sobbing.  The whole time, people stood on the sidewalk staring.  The cops had me move my car under cover. I told them what happened.  Two witnesses told them what happened. The lady's friend told them I came out of nowhere, speeding and hit her poor, poor friend. Ungh. People suck.

I was standing there and heard my name being called. My best friend's mother-in-law was there, hugging me as I sobbed and told her my mom was on the way to pick me up, as I didn't want to drive. She stayed with me until my mom pulled in, and took over the hugging.  The puppet still sat in the car.  I grabbed the puppet. Waited as my mom pulled the car into a parking space.  I was wet and emotionally exhausted.  The cops told me that the lady was going to be fine. Jon Smith subs had closed. We didn't get delicious subs that night.

It's not funny. But it is. WHO HITS SOMEONE WHILE THEY HAVE A PUPPET IN THE PASSENGER SEAT?!?!?