I feel as if I am heading for the downhill slope, and I haven't even turned 30 yet. I'm antsy, wanting a change and to try new things. I have the perfect excuse, as I am attempting to write for a comedy website. So, in the interest of comedy, I have tried some things. Set up other things to try in the future. Things that I would have never done prior to this recent incarnation of me. I am grabbing life by the horns (in some cases, literally), and doing irreparable damage to my body and wallet.
And I'm ok with it.
This recent desire for thrills is one I have felt before, but never acted upon. I've been tempted to go wild before, but never had a reason. I have always done for others, and now I am choosing to do for myself. It's thrilling and terrifying and lonely at the same time. While I am jumping off of a trapeze or hopping onto a mechanical bull, I am reveling in the action and adventure. I am getting footage and photos so I can prove to the world that I have lived. And while I'm doing that, I am putting all of my energy into positive thoughts and goals for my life. I am shedding the weight of the last 10 years of heartbreak, and embracing a new woman that only says no if there's a really good reason. And I'm attempting, subconsciously, to tell all the people in my life who have ever told me that I can't or that I am not good enough, that I can, and that I am. It's hard to heal. I still haven't. But I'm filling my life with laughter, stories, and making memories that will be mine, always. And no one, ever, will take that away from me.
So, for now...here is my list of things to do in the next two months.
Striptease class
Boudoir photo shoot
Trapeze
Chemical Peel
Paintball
Salsa Class
Fencing Lessons
If you have any suggestions, please feel free to comment below. Or on my facebook wall.
No comments:
Post a Comment