Breakdown....communication style.

I'm not ashamed to post this photo. Note the Blackberry in my hand.

It seems like we are getting further away from each other as more and more ways to stay connected are created. E-mail, skype, texting, online chatting...all were created so that we can keep tabs on each other in a convenient, time efficient manner. But there is something missing, an integral piece of the puzzle that is somehow lacking. I have found lately that even my closest relationships have been compromised due to the fact that with so many ways to communicate, we all try to make small bits of time for everyone and are now spread too thin.

For a while , I was so busy that the only time I caught up with people was on facebook chat or through e-mails. I knew I wasn't able to see them, so I would check in to make sure they still remembered that I existed. These friendships that I held so dear took a back burner to my career, to my art, to my self involvement. We would text about events in our lives, and have short, quick phone conversations to confirm one thing or another. But recently, I've had time to actually reconnect with these wonderful individuals, and sometimes, just sometimes, it feels odd. Being face to face has become an anomaly. Hugging goodbye is a change from TTYL. Laughing together has replaced the LOL. And I like it. I like it a lot.

There are days when I just want to punt my iPhone. When I want to bash my laptop with a bat. Where I want to grab my princess phone from when I was sixteen and lay on my bed and have a real conversation with someone. When I want to grab all of my girlfriends and be in a room together and sleep on the floor and make forts and eat junk food until we feel like we're going to puke. But there are husbands. There are boyfriends. There are kids. There are boyfriends who act like kids. There's 9-5 and 5-10. There's life. And I get that. I want to reconnect, with hands and hearts and hugs and love. Leave the cables and the webcams and the carpal tunnel syndrome and the text speak that bastardizes this beautiful language that has risen from grunts and squeaks and evolved into something that creates poetry and prose, and get back to a life where holding refers to hands. Where chat refers to a conversation over coffee. Where a message is a jotted note. Where "You've got mail" refers to a letter, in an envelope, with a stamp, in someone's own handwriting.

I think I've blogged about this before, but I guess it's a point of mine that really needs reiteration. Check your news feed for the link, e-mail it to your friends, and look for it on my Twitter account. Or just create a new google ID and follow me. It's that easy to stay connnected. :)

My name is Lauren, and I'm an addict.

I realized last night that I have an addiction. It is an overwhelming thing, my cross to bear that drags me down constantly. It has created in me a furtive creature who will sneak away to fulfill the desire that burns within me. I am breathless waiting for that next fix. I wish with all my heart that someone would have meetings for it, though I have yet to hear of any church basements or YMCA's that host group sessions for this kind of craving, this kind of need.

My name is Lauren Pottinger, and I'm addicted to technology.


Ah, it's such a relief to get that off my chest. Just typing the words on my online blog have alleviated some of the strain that I feel on a constant basis. I may post it as my facebook status as soon as I am done with this entry. Potentially post it on my online acting resume on my website. I'll probably e-mail it to someone from one of my 7 e-mail addresses, as I am going to need a sponsor and I am sure that any one of my friends or family members would be willing to admit it as well.

I admit this now because of an incident that occurred the other night. I was texting someone back and forth, a very important conversation that we could not possibly had over the phone, as actually speaking to each other would be really too intimate. I found myself checking, over and over, my e-mail and my facebook on my smart phone, as I couldn't wait to see who had said what, if anyone had posted to my wall, sent a message, or e-mailed me in response to that query I had sent out. A text conversation took 2 hours, when a phone conversation could have taken one.

Here are my 12 steps for my addiction to technology.

1. I admit I am powerless over Facebook—that my social networking has become unmanageable.
2. I have come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. That power is named Mark Zuckerberg.
   
3. I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him. I understand he is a multi-billionaire played by Jesse Eisenberg in a movie.
   
4. I have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. And posted it in a note on Facebook.
   
5. Admitted to Mark, to myself, and to 456 other human beings the exact nature of my wrongs.
6. Am entirely ready to have Mark remove all these defects of character.
   
7. Humbly asked Mark to remove my shortcomings. And all gaming requests. I don't play!
   
8. Made a list of all persons I have harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Though I probaby won't re-friend them.
   
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I re-tagged the photos and changed the nasty captions, okay?
   
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when I was wrong promptly admitted it. On your wall.
    
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Mark, as I understand him, praying only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out. Also, changed my religious affiliation on my profile.
    
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I try to carry this message to Facebook-aholics, and to practice these principles in all my affairs.

Please, let's help each other. Let's reconnect without the power of technology. Let's connect with our minds, hands and hearts and disconnect the USB cables, accounts, and emoticons. I'd rather laugh out loud with you than LOL.

There's a reason I'm guarded.

I've had several instances in the last couple of months where people have become upset with me and have decided that the best way to clarify their anger is through text message, e-mail or Facebook message. Not only is this completely cowardly, it is also pretty disrespectful to me as a human being with feelings. Please, feel free to phrase things any way you want to because there couldn't possibly be repercussions to you typing hateful, mean things, because it's e-mail and you can just claim it was mis-interpreted. Well, friends (and no longer friends), here's what I want to say to you. It is not your job to teach me lessons. It's not your job to point out my flaws, as I could certainly retaliate and tell YOU everything that I dislike about YOUR personality...but I don't. Because I know what my faults are, thank you very much. And instead of pointing fingers, you should be looking in a mirror.

This song says it all.
King of Anything

In the future, you can call me and we can talk about things. Or we can have coffee and you can vent. But please don't hide behind your computer screen and let your anger and fingers do the dirty work.

As my mom says, "You have to be a friend to have a friend." Lucky for me, I have enough friends that want to BE friends, and that I want to be there for. You are no longer included in that. Have a great life!