Fiction Friday-WOOOOO!

News: I  have an official boyfriend, he met the family, they love him, Bailee quit PMS, I cried and now I'm PMS'ing.

Now on to Fiction Friday.

I had a friend comment on a status update with "Mmmm, brains." So. That's gonna inspire today's Fiction Friday.  I hope you like it.

Brains

by This Girl

I've been sitting here, in this jar, for what seems like ages. Floating around in formaldehyde, with no stimulus other than the occasional mad scientist's assistant coming in to steal one of my neighbors for some crazy, misguided experiment. They never pick me.  They barely even glance in my direction.  I'm going to be honest and say that it's beginning to effect what was once a brilliant and somewhat egocentric mind.  I was never the last one picked. Always the first, always the best.  And now there is a film of dust covering the label on my jar that screams to the world two names that during my life were connected with the word genius.  I honestly couldn't tell you at this point of my death what those two names were, but I hope you'll forgive me as it's been years since this brain was actually inside a skull.

I can remember how I died. An argument with the wife distracted me whilst I was combining elements that required precision in measurements, and boom! My hands were blown to smithereens and I bled out on my laboratory floor while she screamed like a banshee for help that never came. Why I ever married that woman is a question I have pondered on countless occasions while on this shelf. I should have stayed in the lab when my dear mother told me to come upstairs for that ridiculous party.  I should have never bowed to societal pressures and began courting that ridiculous creature, and should definitely not have placed a carbon allotrope ring on her finger.  She was always nagging about how I loved my work more than I loved her, and she was right. That night she had gotten upset about my missing a dinner party. She claimed my absence caused her embarrassment.  Usually, her complaints fell on deaf ears, but the addition of flying missiles being hurled at me from the staircase caused my attention to wander.  I'm sure she has since remarried, or has died of consumption. I don't know and I don't care.

I long for the day when a hunchbacked Igor will grab my jar from the shelf.  When a Dr. Frankenstein will take my gray matter into his hands and plunge me into the cavernous skull of some patchwork cadaver, then animate me with the electricity of the gods.  The day will come when I will be able to walk and talk and create again.  My research was on the verge of completion when that harpy ended my life with her absolute idiocy.  An irony to die while researching immortality, but no one can say that I don't have a sense of humor.  Didn't have a sense of humor, as I can hardly laugh in my current state.

The day will come. I'll be plunked from the death I could not avoid and live again. My hands may be larger and rougher than my delicate, white hands with which I was born.  My gait may be lumbering.  My speech may be impaired, but the ideas and the genius behind them will be immediately recognizable.  I will outreach even my new master in regards to fighting and beating death.  I will conquer death and with it, the world.

If I had a mouth, I would maniacally laugh right now.

   

Boom # 2

Monday morning Bailee and I woke up way too early, and both decided we should prepare for the arduous walking that would be occurring at ComicCon by walking 3 miles at a park near her house. I put on my "Foster's, I love you!" shirt and we headed out. The park was a glorious mix of Los Angelites...bums, hot chicks, and people doing yoga and karate were out in abundance and allowed Bailee and I to make some quite witty comments. The exercise wore us out, and we headed back to her house to get cleaned up. Like the amazing work wife she is, Bailee made me a vegan lunch, and we ate til we were about to bust. As it was hotter than Hades outside, we decided to lay low at her house. We watched part of Waxwork 2, My Name is Bruce, Hercules, and ate chocolate sorbet while sipping on some rose'. It was amazing.

Tuesday we had an errand to run that took us deep within Los Angeles to visit Good Art. Bailee and I were early to our appointment, and Josh at Good Art was more than happy to show us around...for 2 hours. We were hungry, and starting to get cranky, but he was awesome and gave us some Captain America style swag to sport at ComicCon. We grabbed a bunch of promo materials, but they were out of business cards. A plan was hatched to send us back towards Bailee's house to pick them up from Josh's house. Bailee's friend, Ken, offered to drive us as we had taken the train on the way in, and it was going to be a hike up a steep hill. Low blood sugar+exertion=me passing out. So we hopped in Ken's day rental Prius, and headed to Josh's home. On the front doorstep was a bag with business cards, as well as gourmet lollipops, peanut marzipan, ginger beer, and granola bars for the starving waifs that were whining about their growling stomachs. Ken dropped the car...and us...off in Hollywood, and we headed for sustenance immediately, dragging along the bag of goodies. Sushi and beer gave us instant satisfaction, and we headed home.

Our third caballero, Lori, had gotten back into town the night before, and we invited her over to hang with us as the next morning we would be hitting the road to ComicCon. We were all packed at this point, so Lori came over and we watched MST3K and ate loads of junk food. The plan was to leave at 12:30 the next day for SAN DIEGO!!

Boom #1

I'm not sure if I can completely encapsulate the amazingness that was the last week of my life. I'm going to try to detail everything clearly, so anyone who knows and cares can get a full picture of what ComicCon was like for me, a closet nerd who has finally seen that it is ok to like horror movies and comic books. There is a world out there that is accepting of ladies who love things that are typically termed juvenile or masculine, and even embraces these women who have begun to despair. All the things I felt were detriments to me as a female became attributes. And I will probably never be the same.

My flight to LA was delayed but uneventful. My first leg to Atlanta sat me near a crazy lady, who, after drinking a beer, decided to tell me about her pet grooming classes and how she'd chopped off a dogs tail by accident. Luckily, the beer made her groggy and she started snoring against the window before the fasten seat belt sign went off. A delay in Atlanta caused me to get in to Los Angeles at midnight, where I met up with Bailee. She brought me almonds, water, and diet coke. Carmageddon was supposedly in full force, but we made it back to her place in no time, and ended up staying up til 3am nerding out.

Due to some serious jet lag, I was up and at em at 10am, though my body and brain were mush. We lazed about for a good portion of the day, and then we packed up and headed to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, where we met up with the gang from Comikaze Expo to watch Evil Dead 2 with a thousand other people in the lawn of the cemetery. Bailee had yet to see the second film, and we both giggled and enjoyed an evening of white zin, food, and Deadite killing. We walked back out through the Cemetery, scaring ourselves silly when we encountered a cage full of sleeping peacocks. Back at her casa, we nerded out some more. It was glorious.

Sunday I had lunch plans with my friend, Jay. We met in Hollywood near the Chinese theater and grabbed ice cream BEFORE we had lunch at a place called The Waffle. It's a swanky version of Waffle House, and I grabbed some Chicken and Waffles. We had a good time, but had to cut it short, as Bailee had planned an X-Men: The Animated Series viewing with her friend who actually wrote for the show! Weee!! Unfortunately, that plan fell through as there were deadlines to be made, so we went to an arcade at CityWalk, drank beer, played games, and acted like idiots. It was amazing.

More to come...

PMS Adventures

My friend Bailee and I have been working on this project for two years, and when she connected with an all female comedy website called Comediva, she pitched our baby to the editor, Linda, an amazing lady who saw the potential for our collective work.

Thus, the New Adventures of PMS was launched on March 28th, running for 5 days at the end of the month (just like your period, folks!)

Read it, comment, and hopefully, enjoy it. Also, follow Bailee in her escapades out in LaLa land at her blog, Nerdventure.