Happy Yew Near!

Have I mentioned that I hate the holidays?

New Years Eve is no exception. It's not just that it is just another couple's holiday where singles are pressured into finding someone, anyone to kiss at midnight. It's not because of the old adage that whatever you do on New Years Eve is what you will be spending the next year of your life doing. It's not because of the champagne, and Auld Lang Syne, and watching Dick Clark fight through a stroke to still be the face and voice of the NYE celebration in NYC (Ryan Seacrest can go eff himself).



It's because of the ball dropping.

How many balls had I dropped, in terms of my career, love, life, friendship over the past year? How many times had I let someone else down? What could I have done differently? What can I do differently in the next year to make sure I'm not in the same place on December 31st, hoping and wishing and making plans for a future that is unsure and fraught with questions? I reflect on these things as the countdown starts and see the next year looming as 365 days of potential doom.

I may be a pessimist. But I'm a pessimist with a sense of humor.

You see, if this New Years is the bar to which I should measure the next year, I will be spending 2011 with friends and loved ones, slightly tipsy on Jello shots and vodka cranberry, scarfing a gourmet spread made with care by my two dear friends. It will end with me climbing up on a rooftop, still tipsy and in heels, hanging out with a handsome man until three in the morning, and will be swept off of my feet into his muscle bound arms and dumped in front of my car door before I make my way wearily home to bed. I will then wash my face by splashing water on it clumsily, brush my teeth so as to not give plaque the ability to deteriorate my tooth enamel, and pop my bleary, make up clogged contact lenses out of my eyeballs into solution to sit there until I wake up at 8:30 to start the day.

Bring it on, 2011. Bring. It. On.

Resolutions, shmesolutions.

I resolve to stop being sarcastic.

Yes, that was sarcasm.

I have never been one to make resolutions in the New Year. I tend to get distracted by life and my overwhelming need to be constantly busy, as if a life without Tums and No-Doze would be a life without water or sunshine. Un-fulfilling and drab. But this year I have started contemplating resolutions and what they mean in terms of life and growing up. I have finally figured some things out.

I do not resolve to lose weight in the New Year. I've been there, done that...with mixed results. Instead, I resolve to eat what I want but counter that with being active. I will not buy a gym membership, but I will walk my dog a little bit more and find more friends that want to walk on the beach or ride bikes. I will move my body because some higher power somewhere gave me the ability to do so, and there are many people in this world who can't even do that.

I have never smoked in my life, but I resolve to make sure that I stay away from the hazards of second hand smoke. I resolve to make my sister's life a living hell until she quits. Side note: Can you make resolutions for other people?

I do resolve to love more. To be more forgiving. To be a person that my mom, dad, grandma, aunt, and Bailey can be proud of. To be a better friend.

I am not going to resolve to try and curse less. Eff that.

I resolve to not go into "poor me" mode when it comes to being alone. Being alone and being lonely are two entirely different things. A good friend told me that I am going through all that I am so that I can prepare myself for "The One." While I have my hopes that there is someone out there, the reality is that I am preparing myself to be a better version of the me I am today. For me, for my family, and yes, maybe someday, for "The One."

I resolve to save some time for me. I will not over commit, and I will not run myself ragged. Hahaha. See sarcasm resolution above.

In the New Year, how about we all try to be a little better...a little kinder...more forgiving...gentler...and maybe, just maybe...we'll survive and thrive and leave this world a better place.