A change will do you good.

I hurt a lot.  All over, in fact.  Dr. Barbie told me it is because I'm overweight.

Dr. Barbie is an asshole.

My legs have been hurting since November of 2014.  They have gotten worse over the last year, to the point where I wanted to chop the left one off during that awesome youth group retreat I went on for my birthday. That was my left leg.  Now my right is in on the action, and trying to move my body to shed the pounds ends with me in a fetal position at bedtime, popping Motrin and praying for sleep to come.

All that complaining aside,  I decided to experiment with the pain the other day.  I woke up feeling like I was walking on broken glass.

I got in the shower, and said to myself, "SELF! You are not going to focus on this pain anymore. You are going to focus on how the warm water feels on your skin.  You are going to focus on the feel of shampoo bubbles in your hands and the lather in your hair.  You're going to focus on the scent of your body wash.  You're going to listen to Kevin sneaking in to lay against the bathtub while you shower and listen to him sigh once he settles against the tiles.  You're going to focus on the feel of the towel drying your body that can move even though it hurts. You're going to focus on the clothes you can afford to buy and dress yourself with even if you're not your perfect size. You're going to focus on the food that nourishes your body and you are going to be happy that you are alive cause it would suck to be the opposite."

It was a good pep talk I had with myself. I am telling myself the same thing now as my thighs throb from power walking around my workplace. In heels.  Like an idiot. But I'm lucky to have a job, period.

This positive thinking stuff is exhausting. BUT I AM TRYING, GUYS.  I'm really, really trying.