Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga...

During a conversation with my mom on the facepage today, she called me the Little Engine That Could in response to me saying "I think I can."

I am the Little Engine That Could. We all are.  We're all dragging a load over the mountain, and perhaps this load was meant for larger engines.  Maybe no one thinks we can do it.  But we can.

I think I can...get out of bed today.

I think I can...forgive someone today.

I think I can...breathe. One breath at a time.  One step at a time.

I think I can...perform again.  As much as it causes me doubt, it also brings me so much joy.

I think  I can...be happy. Really happy.  Not just, "I'm pretending to be happy so you leave me alone" happy. But happy. 100 days, 500 days, all my days.

I think I can...do this.

I think I can...get motivated to love myself again. Care for myself again. Stop being afraid of anorexia and stop overeating.  I say this after emotionally gorging on Taco Bell last night and feeling like death today.

I think I can...stop blaming overeating on emotions.

I think I can...think of more things to say 'I think I can' about.

Maybe not the last one.

I'm tired right now. But I think I can get through this day, through the next and start believing in myself.

CHOO CHOO!!