I was at the pharmacy yesterday morning, putzing around as I awaited a prescription written by my 24 year old, model like female doctor. I picked up TP (I was out) and new deodorant (thinking my old stuff was causing issues that the prescription was supposed to remedy.) As I was looking at the "As Seen on TV" section, I heard an elderly woman's screeching voice from over the rack of Hallmark cards on my right. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" she yelled in a harpy like fashion at her husband, limping towards her with his Hurrycane that he had probably purchased from the very section where I was browsing.
"What?" he asked, obviously cowed by the angry visage of the woman who was once the beautiful girl he danced with at a sock hop in high school or who he shared a milkshake with at a Walgreen's counter. We were at CVS. I don't think they had counters.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" she screamed again, ignoring social norms and an inside voice to prove that she was upset with the man and also to register through the hearing aids Mr. Harpy was sporting. "YOU KNEW I WANTED TO USE THOSE POINTS TO GET NEW SOAP!" she yelled, face burning. " I AM DONE WITH YOU! JUST DONE WITH YOU! YOU KNEW I WANTED TO GET THAT SOAP! WHAT DID YOU BUY? WHAT DID YOU BUY?!?!?!?!" The old man stuttered, "I got myself some shaving cream."
Harpy Lady stormed to the front of the store, repeating over and over how DONE she was with the man and the whole situation/marriage/store/soap deal. I was taken aback by not only her vehemence, but in her complete disdain of a man she had probably slept next to for a good portion of her adult life. And the only thought that popped into my head was, "THIS is why I don't want to get married."
A weird thought, for sure, but one that I have been turning over in my head again and again after the last several cluster f*ck relationships I've been in. I'm typically a monogamous person, in that I date someone for 1-2 years, even if they are complete toolboxes and I knew I should get out. I've had a dry spell lately, mostly cause the last few were such doozies that I needed time and space to not only heal but to stop hating myself due to their view of me or who I turned into while dating them.
I never want to be that woman. I would never want anyone I love to be that man. So, is it marriage that's the problem? Is it me and my fear of committing and then only realizing that it was a bad decision years and years later as I'm screaming at my significant other in a CVS about soap? Could be both. Could be that I haven't "met the right guy yet." But I've met all the wrong ones already, haven't I? So...who will know if there will ever be a right one, as I am the common denominator in these failed relationships? Will I some day snap over used CVS bucks because I finally realize that this person cares more about their morning shave than my needs? GAK.
There are so many quetions in that last paragraph to answer...you are not the common denominator because I know the men you've dated. Whoosh. I don't think there's ever a "right one"...I think there's an "I'm ready to settle down and you seem nice to do that with." This woman YELLING at her significant other in Walgreen's says more about her than the relationship.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom would get frustrated with my Dad, but never to the point she would SCREAM at him (and vice versa.) Sure there were slammed doors and mumbled words but nothing hateful. I think that speaks for the majority of relationships - shit happens. You fight. You get frustrated. You want to smother the other person quietly in the night while they sleep and make it look like a heart attack. I get it. Bottom line is, don't let this woman scare you away from thinking marriage isn't for you. Look at your parent's dynamic...there are plenty of more healthy relationships out there by which to measure the happiness of marriage.
Now let's do some shots and make bad decisions.
LYF.