Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I'm an adult. An adult who at this moment is wearing penguin pjs, eating cookies and sipping milk out of a penguin coffee mug while wearing sock monkey slippers. I swear I'm an adult.  I've been watching Christmas movies all day, and I thought that this would be a good time to write to you.  I'm not going to wish for my Prince Charming, as sweet, lisping Lacey Chabert did in the Hallmark movie I watched an hour ago.  I'm pretty sure that Prince Charming does not exist.  And I'm really ok with that.  There are so many more important things to ask for during this holiday season. I don't have a list of toys that I want, and I'm not a cold hearted business man looking for redemption during the holiday season like Kevin Sorbo in that weird movie where he's cursed to look like Santa until he learns a holiday lesson and wins the girl.  I'm just a girl who's feeling sick, both physically and with recent events in the world, spiritually.

Yesterday, something terrible happened.  Something so terrible that I don't even want to type what happened here in this letter. I just keep imagining toys purchased and hidden in homes with no recipients on Christmas. Families who will be mourning when they should be celebrating. I wish that it was the first terrible thing to happen this past year, but it's not.  And there's no knowing that it will be the last either.  This world we live in is increasingly more dangerous, and there's no guarantee that something like it won't happen again and that it won't happen closer to home.  I want to squeeze all the babies I know, and protect them with everything I have.  I've been wishy washy about my desire to have some of my own, but this past year I've made a decision that I would love being a mom.  I'm pretty good at the "aunt" thing, and I have no doubt that a child of mine would be adorable (SUPER ADORABLE) and loved.

So, I guess I need to get to the asking, Santa.  I want to ask you for more understanding this year.  For the ability to love more and to reach out more to people who may need a kind word or a gesture.  To love everyone in my life wholeheartedly.    To  appreciate every moment with the people who are here because life is just too short. And I want to ask you, as well, to help the people in the world to stop being angry all the time. There's so much that is beautiful and wonderful in the world.  And if a slightly jaded 31 year old woman can see it, I hope that the rest of the world can as well.

This letter probably won't do much in healing the wounds of our society.  I'm not trying to do that.  I just ask you to help remind me in my darker moments that everything is going to be all right and that we have to have faith in our fellow man, especially in times like these.

I'm going to get back to my milk and cookies and this cheesy Hallmark movie starring Casper Van Dien. Thank you, Santa. Have a good trip on the 24th, and spread a little more cheer this year than years past.