A normal, non-fiction blog. Maybe.

I want to tell you all about a breakthrough I had over this past weekend.  Usually, I have these breakthroughs and they provide temporary respite from my normal mode of anxiety and general dissatisfaction. After my last blog regarding my adopted nephew, the week got even better. I actually went out of the house for a good portion of the weekend, which is rare for me as I am typically a stay at home and read kinda girl.  The breakthrough is still effecting me today.

This past Saturday I was invited to birthday drinks for my two friends, JH and JF.  JF's wife is my bestest of all friends, and she asked me if I wanted to grab dinner before hand. Another group of friends asked if I wanted to join them at the closing night of a crappy nightclub that we frequented on a couple of occasions. I said yes.  My mom and I decided to spend the day together, and we headed out to Bealls to grab some jeans for my grandma in Ohio, who loves a certain brand that they only carry down south.   We decided to take a pretty circuitous route, heading up Beeline Highway in the Jeep, all the way to Indiantown. This took us on scenic back roads and allowed us to drive without the complication of traffic.  As is our wont when driving together, we ended up stopping for lotto tickets and exploring the backwoods areas before making it to our department store destination.

Two hours of boring shopping later, we stopped for lunch. Mom wanted to make one more stop at the Gardens Mall, so we went in. $500 later, and I had an all new wardrobe, plus new underthings. I was excited. I got home and hopped in the shower to prep for my night out. Dressed in cobalt blue skinny pants and a black satiny blouse with heels and clutch purse, I felt beautiful for the first time in a long time, and not because an outside source was TELLING me.

Dinner with the girls was fun, as always.  We made fun of the somewhat skanky girls that were dressed like ballroom dancers for the prom that was happening that night.  We headed to the bar, and had a great time there as well. I got to see people that I haven't seen since I left the Jove, and it was wonderful to reconnect and know that they missed me as much as I missed them.  There was some tension as someone whom I did not really want to see was supposedly coming, but that person never showed up. At about 11:45, I had to leave my friends to meet up with the group at the club. I didn't really want to leave, as I was having such a good time, but the group promised to meet up with me.  So, I got in the Mini, changed into flats so I could dance my butt off in comfort, and headed to the Club.

In the parking lot, I ran into a couple of friends who DJ and are regulars at the club, so I didn't have to pay cover or show ID at the door.  It was nice to walk in with people I knew, and we proceeded to head to the bar.  Telling them I had to find my other friends, I grabbed my drink and happened upon the group out on the dance floor.  I have known these women (and man) since I was 12 years old.  They liked me when I was nerdy and more awkward than I am now, and still like me today.  I'm so lucky to have them in my life, and they know exactly how to pull me out of my shell.  I even danced with an older gentleman called the Milkman, who is a staple at the club. And by danced I mean he bent me backwards, over the stage and dry humped my leg for about 5 minutes.

We danced.  All night.  My other friends joined us at 1:30am, and we danced some more. There was laughter and goofiness, and general shenanigans and tomfoolery. My middle school friends left, and it was just the birthday people and myself.  The club closed, and we decided to head to yet another party location, a bar and grill that stays open until 5am. The group consisted of myself, JH and his girlfriend, JG, along with some of her friends from high school and a couple of cute boys that I was having fun peer pressuring into dancing with me. My body was hurting, but I just couldn't keep myself from moving.  I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but I just didn't care.  I had fun, and it's been a really long time since I had that kind of fun, without self judgement or insecurity.  And it was nice.

One of the cute boys has since asked me on a date for this Friday. I'm looking forward to it with little to no nerves, because this is someone who met the real me and actually liked that person. There will be no dancing involved, so we'll actually get to talk to each other minus the intense club beats and alcohol/adrenaline cloud that surrounded me on Saturday. I feel myself start to worry about it, but am able to tell myself that it's going to be great and to chill out. I think that is the best thing to come out of this past weekend.

That and my new matching bra and underwear. Which I will probably wear on Friday! :)