Yes. If only it was as easy as singing a song at midnight on January 1st.
Kevin the dog and I were walking this morning, and I started really thinking about what I want my life to look like this year. I've already made positive steps in the end of 2012 by moving out, getting a dog, and starting a new improv troupe with a friend. And I realized that while I'm really fantastic at doing me, I'm not so great at doing others. Wait. That sounds bad. What I mean is that I'm a fabulous, fantastic single me, but couple me is not so great. Obviously.
|Maybe if you got out more and stopped taking and posting photos of me on social media, you'd meet someone.|
I had an epiphany on that walk. As I pondered the question of my singledom while bagging Kevin's super stinky poop, I realized that I have been in the dating scene for 15 YEARS NOW. And no one has really stuck. And the one common denominator is ME. Neurotic, control freak, scared of commitment me. And it needs to change.
So often I'm attracted to people because I know that they're no good for me. I've never once been in a relationship where I felt that this person was meant to be in my life forever and that we'd shoot out some babies and share a mortgage. Maybe it's that I've yet to meet that special someone. Maybe it's that there have been one too many one sided relationships, where I felt more than the other person did. Or maybe I'm getting in my own way. And I'm carrying around way too much baggage, kinda like the stinky poo bag I had to carry four miles before finding an appropriate bin where I could throw it away.
I'm gonna stop that nonsense. I'm gonna throw out the metaphorical stinky poo bag. I'm going to open myself up in the new year to being a better me. And through that process I hope to meet that person who will be around longer than a year or two.
OK. Enough waxing philosophical about my relationship failures. Time for some New Year's Resolutions.
In 2013, I resolve to do the following things.
1) Make resolutions.
I hope you all have a fantastic New Years and that 2013 treats you well!